His talk today was all about change, which I found very fitting. I did not keep much contact with him while he was gone, but I could see and hear the change when he spoke. I knew when he left, he was a remarkable young man and he was an inspiration to me. Even with all the change the two of us have seen, he is still an inspiration to me.
Just in the two years that he has been gone, I have felt love, and seen it go. I have drawn closer to my Father in Heaven. I have forgiven, and I have grown. I have learned to trust again and most importantly, I have learned to love myself. I know I have faults and I know I have problems, but I know I can change. My friend stated today, words that rang very true to me. Change doesn't happen over night. You can't just want to change. It will happen, only when you have that drive, that desire, but also patience. We may not ever attain the change we wish to see in ourselves, but our whole purpose in life is to try.
I have been told often lately that people have noticed a change in me. It makes me so proud to hear that. I have been trying, and working, and struggling to better myself, to make me who God wants me to be. And I'm not done yet.
I have this things about talking on the phone. I wouldn't call it a fear, but it makes me very uncomfortable and my heart races when I do talk on the phone (with most people other than a few people). So, part of my drive to better myself, I decided to apply for an office position at my work. I knew at the time, I wasn't the best person for the job. However, I wanted to put myself out there and try it. I knew the phone thing was going to be a stumbling block for me, but it was something I wanted to get over. So I applied. I am so very grateful I did. I was blessed with the opportunity to have the position and I am loving every second of it. I can feel myself growing and changing. I am extremely grateful that I was given the position, and that they took the chance with me.
I feel a lot of my desire to change has stemmed from looking at photos of myself when I was younger. I had such sas, such confidence in who I was. Somewhere along the way of growing up, I lost that. I feel that I am starting to come back to that person I was. It has all happened with the support and guidance of so many wonderful and supportive people, one of who just came home from his mission. Though we didn't communicate much while he was gone, I would often catch myself thinking about him and would feed off of his strength thinking, "What would Elder _____ do?" Believe it or not, it helped me a lot.
Even though through my change, I have lost several friendships, I know I will always have a friend in this young man and his amazingly inspirational family. His mom was one of the Inspirational women I blogged about in one of my last entries. I know how much I have changed in the last two years, and my bad times, my downfalls, and my struggles have all been worth it.
So, I challenge each one of you who reads this to decide on doing something that makes you uncomfortable, and just do it. Talk to a stranger, tell that person how you feel, or whatever you choose, and tell me how it goes. I would love to hear about your experience. Get out there and do something new. I guarantee, you won't regret it.
Change is not sudden, it is gradual. It's like I hear often at work, if you are not continually progressing, you are regressing. You constantly need to me moving, working, and striving, weather it's a goal, a dream, a desire, or a need. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, because if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land amongst the stars. And what a wonderful place to be.
I love you and support you in any change.
<3 Crafty Orange
